I was just kidding God, I dont want a boyfriend

So all you need to do to be reminded of just how pretty you are in South Africa is just leave the house... Yes, Its that simple and to get a boyfriend, go to Canada and being here just made me realize exactly why I dont need a boyfriend.
 10. Well I like my independance
 9. I really enjoy watching movies alone
 8. Its too hott, and some people's sweat glands work over time
 7. Then I have no reason to feel sorry for myself
 6. Wouldn't I need to tell my parents? ah no, Im not up for that..
 5. Well my wedding its not like I am getting married tomorrow or anything like that
 4. Kissing=YUCK!
 3. I need to work on my temper
 2. I have to learn to love and trust God
 1. What if they are nothing in my criteria and dont say yeah it could be better, what could possibly be better than a Jean Pierre??

INSOMNIA

I lovve ten reasons, they are simple and straight to the point. I personally looove reading anything in point form so anyway my latest ten reasons, why I need to start dating my husband this year... Hope God is  reading:

10. Well I am turning 21 this year  so as much as that doesn't really mean anything to anyone I personally think its a milestone
9. I need to start planning my wedding... I know its overrated but seriously serious, one needs to start early
8. I think I am old enough for kissing now
7. Jesus, like really now! I know Paul chose not to marry but that was a choice... well in my case its anything but-
6. Noone to call- Noone to call me
5. All my jokes are going to waste, well not that I am funny or anything. People always think their partners are funny even though we know there could not be anyone in this planet and beyond that could be lamer than them
4. It has gotten soo bad I have created a fake boyfriend on Facebook
3. Start practicing my signature. S.K or S.L or S.T well S. Whatever
2. My facebook page looks lame, aren't boyfriends like supposed to write sweet stuff on your wall or something... yeah and comment, even on the ugliest of pics
1. Ok for my number one I wanted to say something Godly but I can't think of one so I guess I just want to love someone, I just want to be loved.

to you

so you are precious to me, more than you will ever know. Sitting here, not even sure you exist in my heart I know you are out there and I just want to reassure you that I am also out there. I care for you. I love you and I want to spend the rest fo my life with you. I pretty much sound delusional right now, but I dont care, because one day I know you are going to read this and I am going to watch you smile and I am going to smile back and ask what? and you are going to kiss my hand and tell me that I mean the world to you. I cannot wait for our lives together. I know you are going to fill this hole in my heart. This sadness and lonliness in my life will disperse! We are going to watch sad movies together, listen to great songs, dance all night, laugh all day. STAND UP COMEDIES! There will be up and downs. There will be times I will want to choke you, times you just don't even want to talk to me but cannot bare the thought of life without me. You will love Jesus. Passionate about the church. Passionate about serving the Lord. Yes. I cannot wait for you. Cannot wait for our french conversations and travels to all over the world. Oh life will be awesome with you. I pray for you. I pray for you more than I pray for me.

I love you husband, friend and brother. Cannot wait to meet you!

xoxo

New Year's Resolutions!

So the new year has begun, reality has finally sunk in. I am not rich, I am lonely and I don't know what to do with my life. I could go on forever talking about my parents, how I wish I had a car and well how I just wanna get married! So I usually create a list of new year's resolutions I never live up to (Hence they tend to be the same every year) I want to live a life God wants for me. I want to be content. I want to stop worrying and live for today, let tomorrow worry about itself.
1. Get a driver's licence... Flip, this year its a MUST. I got a strong feeling I am winning a car this year.
2. Get a job. Yip, allowance and pocket money just don't do it for me anymore.
3. Wear my natural hair as often as possible. Screw weaves. I mean it!
4. Start dating my husband. (Tall, French, Jesus-Freak, Intellect, Residing in France, Well-Off and Uhm from France meaning from the 1st Generation)
5. Make and keep friends
6. Enter, Be a Finalist and Prayfully Win: Miss South Africa 2011 *Rolls eyes* So this is like the 5th time running for this resolution, hopefully we turn this dream into a reality.
7. Go to France December 2011 if the Miss South Africa dream doesn't take off
8. Get my immediate family saved
9. Have a stronger relationship with Jesus
10. Get good marks, marks good enough for honours should they become a viable option.

The Year That Was...

I am ambivalent about the year, I wanted to die at the very thought of going back to PMB. My very dreams were crushed by the fact that I cannot leave that stupid town, I need to stick around for God's plan. trusting God sucks. Truly. Its one of those easy but impossible things to do. I like being in control and making my own dreams happen, the thought of God helping me out was worrying, but nevertheless. So the year begun in despair, trying not to think about going back to PMB. I looked for  place to stay and my was it HELL?! My room was the size of a matchbox, thieves and thugs roamed the corridors (ok Im exageratting) but basically it ws torture. I then liked this guy who didnt like me back *rolls eyes* (story of my life) I was really involved in the church. Put together a talent show and a surprise party. Performed and it was amazingly awesome! It was then time to leave sunny Africa for cold Canada! Well the initial plan was to go to Chicago but hey Canada is Canada... So it was a really loong process. Getting my Visa. Money my mom spent on me etc etc etc. The experience was awesome though, could have been better, but it truly was great. Met awesome people, did things I had only dreamt of and found myself. I loved being alone and watching the snow fall donw. I loved Fridays. Met with a Christian group and it was truly awesome. I almost had my first kiss but a firend reminded me that I must let God write my story and that my body is God's temple. Its truly what I needed to hear. Truly. I learnt to be my own person and trust God. Trusting Him was not as bad this time but it was. I trust Him that even though I didnt have my first kiss in Canada with some hunky guy its going to be freakn amazing! Its going to be better than my expectations, waaay better. Cos I flew to Joburg, on my way to Canada. God dreamt a biggger dream than me and all I needed to do was trust Him. I trust Him with my future even though I dont know much about what I am going to do next year, my degree and so on and so forth, the future looks bright though! So the year was ok. Next year will be good too! Hoping the Lord keeps my family safe and protects them. and that I live all my dreams :-)

10 reasons why dying wouldn't be such a bad idea right now?

10. I have to pack
9. I have to shop, I hate shopping!
8. I just had a killer exam. Like how the hell do you conjugate prendre
7. My flight back home is 2 freakn days
6. Well thats if the planes are working (Thank you God for snow!!!! And Bloody Europe)
5. I have period pains
4. Its cold
3. My hair :-(
2. I think I might have doubled booked myself
1. I want to ask Jesus, WHY ME!?

Why you wish you were me???

Ok so I admit it, I suck! Like who suffers from acne for freakn 10 years!? I am boyfriendless, I am short tempered and I don't mince my words who would want to be me?? The answer surprised me. To the very core of my skinny being. You!
You want to be me because you dont know who you are. You want be me because to you, even though I dont have a perfect life I have prety much figured it all out. You want to be me because I know what I want. You want to be me because I am gifted.  You want to be me because you are a superficial bitch. You want to be me beacuse I don't care. You want to be me because I voice my feelings. You want to be me because you have copied me in every sense of the word.

You think so low of yourself that you think I am just like you. Far from it my dear. I am not a super model, but I am skinnier than you. I am not a superstar, but I turn heads. I am not a superstar but I am a DIVA!